"Dude, i always have these weird dreams". Yeah? who the fuck doesn't. You don't need to preface your dumb story by telling me it's weird. No one dreams about doing the dishes or taking a shit. They are all fantastically weird.
One time I got the uncontrollable urge to share a dream I had with a gentleman at Dunkin Donuts. I remember riding a big shaggy dog through downtown Baghdad delivering pizza. Then I realized the guy I delivered to was a guy I used to work with. It was awesome.
I could tell the gentleman didn't think it was so awesome, because before I could finish my dream summary, he reared back and punched his teenage daughter in the face.
I think I heard somewhere that the daughter used to shoplift from Sears. The gentleman and I soon got our coffees and bagels. I guess it kinda worked out good for everybody.