The Internet's Biggest Sensation!

Well after my last post, an overwhelming number of people wrote in wanting to see more Ben. It seems he's become an even bigger overnight sensation than the numa numa guy. Well, here he is.

Ladies and gentleman, Ben.



Don't let this video fool you, Ben is a great guy. He once donated half his life savings ($23) to a disabled veterans fund. When hes not sharing his homemade hamburgers and Diet Coke with the area's starving hobo population, he volunteers at his local animal shelter cleaning up after sexually abused border collies.

Always the avid feminist, Ben never passes up the chance to publicly speak out against rape and gay marriage. And Ben doesn't just practice safe sex...he preaches it. He knows all too well the dangers of premarital, postmortem intercourse, as any well rounded honor student should.

Ben someday hopes to get his degree in "surfin' the net", often spending hours watching his favorite viral Halo cartoons on Youtube. He is also an avid softcore porn enthusiast. He enjoys the soothing ballads of Taylor Swift, riding his motorcycle through the drive through, and watching Too Fast, Too Furious with his cat Whiskers.

If you see him around campus, don't be shy. Just because he's the biggest internet sensation since Chocolate Rain doesn't mean hes any different than you and me. Well, maybe hes a little different.