I took the summer off to focus on my new hobby called Snoodling. It's quite fun. First you beat the shit out of some black guy. Next you steal his bling and sell it on ebay. Then with that money you friend him and buy him lots of facebook gifts so he forgives you. This can be done over and over. It works with whites as well.
Heres some FAQs
Q. "So was all the stuff you wrote about in the FMC article true?"
A. Unfortunately dudes. Even the masturbation part. All real.
Q. "What happened next? Did you confront her? Did she ever find out about the blog?"
A. I had a long discussion with my father Yrag about it. And this should really be a post in and of itself, but here's the lazy version.
One night I was jerking off in the basement when I heard Julie...nah fuck it her name is Kim Brenna...screaming at my dad. So I put down my Disney Channel Magazine and I crept up the stairs to listen in.
"If I see that girl here this weekend there's going to be fireworks! FIREWORKS!"
My dad was taking me and my girlfriend white water rafting the next day, but Kim is the most childishly possessive person I've ever known. You know the stage toddlers get to when they're like "mine! mine!" about everything? Well that's this bitch 24/7.
So Yrag goes "Do you hate people that much Kim? Why can't Brett's girlfriend spend a night here I'm taking them river rafting in the morning?"
Here's the exact quote. She's in tears, and desperately trying to talk my father out of letting my girlfriend spend a night in the guest room.
"Yrag I already told you! She's can't stay here because....I'm getting the BATHTUBS REFINISHED!"
So my father and I had had enough, and he told that bitch her to fuck off.
She can't afford the house herself so they are putting it on the market. My dad's renting for now and looking to buy something with a pool this spring.
And no, I never told her about the blog.
Q. "Dude what the fuck? You posted one time this entire summer!"
A. Although technically not a question, a valid point nonetheless. I never really planned on writing over the summer, the FMC article was just me venting in the only way I really know how.
But basically I wanted to let you know that I'll be posting regularly again starting this weekend, so stay tuned for Season 2 of It's Always Sunny In Orono.