Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Special Alex

This is my roommate Alex. Unfortunately, he was born with Down Syndrome.

However, he has overcome his handicap to become the retard equivalent of Jackie Robinson, becoming the first ever mentally handicapped person to host a public access television show.

Two years ago, when Alex was riding home from Special Ed class on his Rascal, he accidentally swallowed his mouth guard thinking it was a cheeseburger. This sent him veering off the road at 4MPH into a ditch, where a 71 year old man found him and vowed to take care of him.

He took Alex back to his farm and every day he threw a bale of hay, oats, and a salt lick into his stable. He would munch away on his feed so loudly that he once woke up a neighbor sleeping 3/4 of a mile away.

One day the farmer brought Alex downstairs into the dark musty basement and molested him on video. Ever since then Alex has had a love for the camera.

Alex is known for making, what his producers like to call "Retard Faces" at the beginning, middle and end of all his broadcasts. Although most of these faces are unflattering and aesthetically unpleasing, Alex simply does it anyway because it "makes my face feel good".

Alex was soon fired for lying about his hours and stealing food from the break room, so he found a new job doing radio.

And by radio I mean he sits alone in his room playing MVP Baseball 2005 with the sound off doing color commentary.

3 comments:

just click "Name/URL" enter your damn name and type ur damn message. but keep in mind i have a fragile ego