The Incredible Hulk

We've been going to Florida every year since I can remember, and this damn abomination of a "ride" has always haunted my dreams. I really don't like heights or roller coasters. At all. And even if you didn't mind heights, I don't know how anyone can deem this fun. It's a stressful bitch of a time and I hate it.

Every year I psych myself up and tell myself I'm gonna do it and then I get out there and see that big green bastard and hear people screaming for their lives and say fuck that. Then Mum and Michelle would give me their purses and I'd sit there by myself like a bitch for an hour holding two purse. Eleven year old girls would walk past me and say "Nice purse fag." and I'd just sit there staring emptily into space, doing my best Doug Flutie Jr. impression so I wouldn't have to answer them.

This year my sister made fun of me so much that I cried and finally went on the damn thing.