I was walking to class today when suddenly I was aggressively passed by a gentleman on a unicycle. Assuming my eyes had betrayed me, I stared in disbelief as the one-wheeled baron tore by me at three times my speed. My first thought: "Gee what a neat bicycle...wait a minute".
Of course, there are many more socially acceptable, albeit boring, modes of transportation. How about a skateboard or a bike? Christ he could have got a piggy back ride and I would have stared at him less.
Along with the unicycle, this man rocked a mustache and a long, flowing mane of hair. I don't want to judge him based solely on his appearance, but I will say he looked like he might have child porn on his computer.
Once when I was eleven my father took me to a circus where people were riding unicycles across a tight rope. At first I thought, "Gosh these men have serious skillz". But as soon as the drugs wore off I found it to be about as entertaining as Lou Gehrig's Disease.
Things I would rather be seen riding than a unicycle:
a wheel barrow
a humpback whale
Sarah Jessica Parker